Daily Dose o' DougFun
The deepest thoughts of a 20th century comedian performing in the 21st century using material probably written in the 19th century. (www.dougfun.com)
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Celebrate Groundhog’s Day the old-fashioned way — by ordering/downloading my hilarious CD “Vote For Me” for the groundhog in your life!
WARNING: If the CD casts a shadow, it means six more weeks of winter! If it doesn’t, it is probably nighttime so try again later.
To order a good old-fashioned CD for only $10.97: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/doughecox
To download a newfangled MP3 for only $5.94: http://www.amazon.com/Vote-Me-Doug-Hecox/dp/B001NGT8NU/ref=sr_1_8_digr?ie=UTF8&qid=1327679146&sr=8-8
Many thanks from me AND Punxsatawney Phil!
Your pal,
Doug
(Source: dougfun.com)
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I wonder what sort of White House bowl President Newt Gingrich would use for a haircut? On second thought, it’s not fair to call Newt’s hairstyle a bowlcut — it’s actually more of a Dorothy Hamill.” (Doug Fun, 12-06-11)Doug Fun, comedian
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Science hasn’t done much for any of us lately. Sure, science proved the Earth is round and, later, helped Man land on the Moon… but not much since. There is still no cure for cancer, traffic is still bad and jet packs remain consigned to The Jetsons’ reruns on Nick at Nite.
Though I am not a conspiracy nut, I believe strongly there are a number of mysteries science either COULD solve but chooses not to, or has ALREADY solved but refuses to tell us. Among them are the following:
1) When it comes to sweaters, is it correct to call a turtleneck an uncircumcised crewneck?
2) Why don’t army surplus stores ever sell surplus armies?
3) Is global warming making it more difficult for Eskimos to dispose of their elderly?
4) Due to rampant obesity, are overweight American babies the leading cause of neck injuries among storks?
5) Are the voices in my head not talking because they know I am eavesdropping, or are they simply communicating in sign language?
6) Does gravity attract us to Earth or is it just that the Universe wants to keep us down?
7) What is the better Christmas gift for snakehandlers — more snakes, or more snakebite kits?
8) Was John Merrick — a.k.a The Elephant Man — reincarnated as Kim Kardashian’s bootie?
9) Whether newborn baby chameleons can be seen, or if they are disguised as placenta.
10) Whether former House Speaker Newt Gingrich’s man-boobs will endear him to women voters as much as they do to chronically lonely dudes looking to hook up at last call.
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Photo reblogged from Funny Or Die
Herman Cain’s Situation Room: May 1, 2012
5/1/12: President Herman Cain and Vice President Papa John receive an update on the mission against The Noid in the White House Situation Room.
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Thanks to corn starch and fast food, this is the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue in 2013. Guaranteed.
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![buzzfeed:
It’s the GIF that keeps on giving.
[The Big Rick Perry Air Penis]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lugwq2UjcE1qz581wo1_500.gif)
It’s the GIF that keeps on giving.
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I love volunteering, and encourage you to do so as well — especially in hospital burn wards. The patients need the company, and — as an added bonus — those places ALWAYS smell like bacon.” (Doug Fun, 2011)Doug Fun, comedian
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Despite their pleasant demeanor, cattle are very hard to please. For one thing, they hate Daylight Savings Time. Whenever farmers show up to feed them an hour early, cows just look surprised — and then angry in the fall when the farmer shows up late.” (2004)Doug Fun, comedian
